Ella Louise, our sweet (actually quite sassy) little Ella babe.
We found out I was pregnant in August 2015 after about six months of trying to conceive. I took the test right before I had to go to work and let me tell you, I had to pull it together before leaving the house. What a feeling; excitment, joy, love, relief, tiny bit of fear and anxiety all wrapped up. I’ve wanted to be a mom for as long as I can remember. I was always playing dolls and house, dreaming about the day when I could have my own real husband and my own real baby. When that day finally came it was overwhelming to say the least.
Despite having to see a genetic specialist and a pre-term labor specialist my pregnancy was fairly smooth. I struggled with the usual morning sickness, (I’m not sure why it’s call “morning sickness” I had it all day), back/pelvic pain, itchy strechy belly, but the main struggle for me was anxiety. I wanted this baby so badly, I was so afraid something would go wrong. At 20 weeks, my OB found that my cervix was shortening. This lead to weekly ultrasounds, activity restrictions and being labeled “high risk for pre-term labor”. I lived in constant fear I would lose her. As each week passed, I grew more comfortable and more confident I would carry her to term. I believed in my body and knew deep in my heart everything would be ok. I could just feel it, I could feel her need to be a part of this world. Oddly, my 3rd trimester was my favorite, yes I was the most uncomfortable but I was also finally able to relax. I cut my hours at work and stayed home to focus on myself and really be present in the last few months of growing my baby girl. My due date came and went, and all the worry of the baby being early seemed so ridiculous. Ella Louise was born via C-section May 6th 2016 after a long difficult labor (more on that later).We named her Ella after my great grandmother, and chose Louise for her middle name as that is mine and my moms as well as many cousins middle names. Family and traditions are very important to me.
I ended up having to deliver Ella via C-section as she got really stuck in my pelvis. She was was wedged in there for so long her little nose was completely smushed flat to the side and she had an abrasion on the back of her head from my pelvic bone. Its amazing how instant and strong the love for your child is. I didn’t even notice her nose. She was born, I was happy and in love. Her nose could have been on the back of her head for all I cared. She was in my arms and it was amazing.
The minute Ella was born she was bright eyed, ready to take on the world. The most common thing we hear is “wow, she’s so alert!” or “Look at those eyes!”. Ella wants to soak it all in, which is great… but she requires a lot of stimulation. Luckily she’s super cute so we don’t mind. Life with this little babe is so full. Watching her learn and grow everyday is mindblowing. We created this being! She started out as nothing but cells and grew into an actual human being. Mind blown