I laugh out loud every time I see Ella’s face in this picture. Her annoyed expression at the “JOY” in the world completely defines the day we had today. It was obvious we both just wanted the day to end so we could pull the covers over our head and just go to bed. We are still struggling with Ella’s sleeping at night. As of last night, she woke 2 or 3 times (I was trying not to count) and was completely wide awake at 4:15am. I finally got her to sleep from 5am-5:30am but then we were up. It was a rough day.
She was fussy, I was fussy. We were both just tired. Lets face it, motherhood is tiring. As moms we are constantly “on” and sometimes we just want to wave our white flag and surrender. We just want a break. Today I was wishing for a service I could call to allow me to just take a nap. But of course that didn’t happen and that’s fine. I’m a mother, I signed up for this. But it doesn’t mean it isn’t hard.
Ella and I pushed through, we went for a walk. We saw our friends, we got coffee… lots of coffee. We played on the floor and zoomed around in Ella’s walker. We read books, we played in the mirror. We took a bath together. We did all of Ella’s favorite things because it was all we could do.
As mothers, it’s inevitable, we are going to have bad days and we are going to have good days. We have to remember that the bad days don’t define us and we alone have the power and ability to change our outlook. Maybe not all our days are perfect but we can do our best to make them good days for our kids. Today I was so tired and so worn out but when I looked down at Ella and she was smiling her big gummy grin at me because she was able to reach her favorite toy on her own. She didn’t care we were both exhausted. She was happy to be sitting with her mama, playing with her toy, living in the now.
So I put away my white flag, smiled at my baby and told her I was proud of her. She responded with her little fake cough (which she usually does when she’s really happy) and we carryed on.
I won’t lie, I did a little happy dance when she fell asleep for the night. Awwww… finally mom can reboot and reflect. Maybe today wasn’t so bad after all, I did get to spend it with my daughter and I think that’s pretty lucky. 🙂