Do you ever find yourself saying something to your toddler or child and wondering “why is that even a sentence coming from my mouth?” and not only that, but why do I say it a minimum of 46 times a day. A few years ago my most common phrase would be “Yeah! Sure I can meet for happy hour!” or “Yeah, today seems like a good day to sleep in” 😒 Now it seems I say, “Why are you licking the toilet?” way more than I think is necessary.
Can we all agree toddler are strange little people, wonderful but quite strange. I guess you can’t really blame them, everything is so new and exciting. How are you supposed to know what a banana peel tastes like until you take a bite of it? My daughter Ella is 18 months and has a curiosity for the world that is quite exhausting for her mother. These are a few phrases I find myself saying over and over and over..
“Stop sucking on the hairspray/dry shampoo/lotion bottle.” I know what you’re thinking, “Put the hairspray/dry shampoo/lotion out of her reach you terrible mother you are poisoning your child!” Ok first of all, calm down, she’s not actually getting any product in her mouth, second, there is no storage in my bathroom and short of getting a safe for my bathroom there is no way to “put them up”.
“What is in your mouth?” This seems like a pretty standard one. Luckily I don’t have to say this as often as i used to, but just the other day my little child was savoring the delight of a tasty rock. Just sucking on it like a hard candy.
“Stop touching the dogs butt” We don’t have a dog, but Ella gets to hang out with Grandmas little doggie and more times than I would like to count I’ve seen her going towards him with her pointer finger… 😱
“Stop eating your toe fuzz” I laugh every time I read that. Is this really a sentence coming from our mouths? This one was actually from my good girlfriend. Her daughter is almost two and just can’t resist the toe jam. Kids are weird.
Please tell me I’m not the only one on repeat over here! What are you constantly telling your kiddos?
Want more toddler humor? Read my post about nursing my toddler!